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Funny Quotes And Sayings Biography
Laughter is some of the best therapy and these funny quotes are sure to get a chuckle! Everyone loves to laugh. Check out the links to the authors of these quotes for more from them. You will more than likely spend endless time reading and laughing. You may also want to review our closely related funny sayings. Do you have more quotes like these that you would like to share that you do not see on QuoteMountain? Let us in on them with us so all of our visitors can enjoy a good laugh from your funny quotes humor chest. Simply log in and click "Submit" from the menu bar. If you are not already a registered user, sign up for our free Quote of The Day mailing! Try searching for more quotes like thes with our search engine if what you want is not here. We also have some good movie quotes from selections such as The Notebook, Napoleon Dynamite, Dodgeball, and many more. While you are here, see our Funny Sayings. We hope that you enjoy your time here at QuoteMountain as well as our funny quotes!

Men are like steel; both are worthless when they loose their temper.
-- Source Unknown

What if "the hokey pokey" is REALLY what it's all about?
-- Curtis Spencer

We are the people our parents warned us about.
-- Jimmy Buffett

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well, I have others.
-- Groucho Marx

The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don't know what I'm doing, someone else does.
-- Source Unknown

USA Today has come out with a new survey-apparently, three out of every four people make up 75 percent of the population.
-- Dave Letterman

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
-- Dennis Miller

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
-- Albert Einstein

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?
-- Mark Twain

A good metaphor is something even the police should keep an eye on.
-- G. C. Lichtenberg

I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
-- Mark Twain

Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.



When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'
They say he's [Yogi Berra] funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?"
They say he's [Yogi Berra] funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?"
What has been happening more lately - of course, I also put in my bio, I say I do the voice of Goliath, but some people go - you know, I say something, and it's a funny thing when you work in this business, people will talk out loud in front of you like you're not there.
Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence... Your answer should always be, Please don't hit me again officer...
The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"