A Friend of the Blog hired me to do story notes on his script, and I did. Then he asked:
Q. But I have one important question: is this script worth working on? With your experience, would you say that this script could be sold one day if I would follow your notes?Well, yes. I'm not one of those cheerleader script editors who says nice things to be nice. If I say "this could be good if you do this," it's because I think it could be good if you do that.
But the script I have in my head -- the script I think your script wants to be when it grows up -- is not your script now. Can you get it there? Or get it close enough that someone will buy it and hire someone else to get it all the way there?
How should I know?
What I tell everyone is: pitch your story out loud, to lots of people. Don't read it off the page, but tell people your movie story, out loud, without notes. Do this over and over, to anyone who'll listen. Ideally to the kind of people that you think are its natural audience, but also to any kid between 10 and 14. Kids are more open-minded than adults, and if a story is too subtle or too complicated for them, it's probably too complicated and subtle for a movie.
(Note: a kid might not like AWAY FROM HER, or LES INVASIONS BARBARES, but the story is simple enough to explain.)
If you pitch your story out loud, several things will happen.
You will immediately get a sense of whether people are interested in your story. If you give someone a script, they will say, "Hey, that was fun!" But if they have to sit through it, you'll know if they really like it.
You will improve your story. Parts of it will seem lame. You'll come up with better stuff as you pitch, or after you pitch.
Parts will seem boring. You'll cut them, or come up with better stuff.
Parts will seem confusing. You'll forget what comes next. That's where you need to fix your story logic.
Your listener will ask questions. That will help you track where the audience is. They will often spot your plotholes, too.
Your listener will make suggestions. Some of them will be better than you've got.
Pitching your story is scary and hard to do. But the more you do it, the better it will be.
Don't ask me if the script could work. Pitch it to your friends and neighbors, and you'll get a visceral sense of whether you believe it will work. And it's hella cheaper than hiring a story editor.
What I tell everyone is: pitch your story out loud, to lots of people. Don't read it off the page, but tell people your movie story, out loud, without notes. Do this over and over, to anyone who'll listen. Ideally to the kind of people that you think are its natural audience, but also to any kid between 10 and 14. Kids are more open-minded than adults, and if a story is too subtle or too complicated for them, it's probably too complicated and subtle for a movie.
(Note: a kid might not like AWAY FROM HER, or LES INVASIONS BARBARES, but the story is simple enough to explain.)
If you pitch your story out loud, several things will happen.
You will immediately get a sense of whether people are interested in your story. If you give someone a script, they will say, "Hey, that was fun!" But if they have to sit through it, you'll know if they really like it.
You will improve your story. Parts of it will seem lame. You'll come up with better stuff as you pitch, or after you pitch.
Parts will seem boring. You'll cut them, or come up with better stuff.
Parts will seem confusing. You'll forget what comes next. That's where you need to fix your story logic.
Your listener will ask questions. That will help you track where the audience is. They will often spot your plotholes, too.
Your listener will make suggestions. Some of them will be better than you've got.
Pitching your story is scary and hard to do. But the more you do it, the better it will be.
Don't ask me if the script could work. Pitch it to your friends and neighbors, and you'll get a visceral sense of whether you believe it will work. And it's hella cheaper than hiring a story editor.
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