Funny Picture

* Which is the oldest Animal in the World?

Give up?

Well its, Zebra Because it is still Black and White and not in Color

** Boss: I am giving you job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs2000, is it OK?
Driver: You are great sir Starting salary is OK but, How much is DRIVING salary?

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* What is The Opposite Of Nokia?
Any Guess ?? ..Not To Worry

Ans: Yeskia

* What will Microsoft name its new software related to cricketer..

ms dhoni

* Who walks with us through the difficult path of life?
Mom dad? No.
Husband Wife ? No.
Friends ? No.
Then what?

Its only your foot wear.

* Fill these blanks with s or No 1.__ I don't have a brain. 2.__ I don't sense.
3. __ I am stupid. 4.__ I am not a human. Try to fill....

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* Braindetector activated-----

calibrating, now searching.
still searching................
.....................
still searching.

Please, sorry. no brains found.

* Two snakes meet each other---

First snake: I hope I am not poisonous.
Second snake: Why?
First snake:Because I bit my lip.

* Maths Magic: Multiply 259 x ur age x 39. U wil get an intresting answer Try it really. it is very intresting.

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* Truly Nog veg msg is---

Chickens Egg Mottun Buffalo meat Fish that is all non veg.

* u r one of the most CUTE persons in the world. Just a second, Dont misunderstand.
CUTE means:- Creating Useless Troubles Everywhere.


* IIT Exam boy got 1 question--
Prove Sinx=6n
Boy cancelled N from both the sides.
Then six=6

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* Teacher : Tel me 3Tenses with Example--
Student :I Saw ur Daughter Yesterday (Past)
We are in Love Now (Present)
We Will Run Away Tomorw (Future).

* From Signboard on electric Boxes--

Danger, 10000 volts, TOUCHING This will lead to DEATH
Anyone found Touching will b jailed for 3 yrs.
* Question- What is Swarg?
Answer- USA Salary, German car, Chinese Food n & India Wife.
Question- What is Nark?
Answer- USA Wife, German Food, Chinese Car n Indian Salary.

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* How To Convert The Most Interesting Song Of Urs As A Damn Irritating Song?
????
Just Set It As Ur Alarm Tone.

* Cool th0ught by StuDent--

I Love Facebook but Hate to Face my book.

* A Nursery student explaining love--

LOVE is like SUSU in da PENT, Otherz can only see it, But only u can feel it Spreading slowly all over

* Boys Rules For BIKES --

USE When Its NEW, RIDE When It PERFORMS, THROW When Makes NOISE, Unfortunately Thats The GIRLS Rule 2 Handle BOY...


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* The probability of a topic coming in exam increases exponentially, if one decides to leave the topic completely

* Doctor 2 Lady: u r looking so weak n exhausted r u properly taking 3 meals a day as I had advised
Lady: Oh my God I hear 3 males per day

* Year 2020 --
Son to Dad: how did u meet Mom. Dad: Ah my Son It all started with a request, add as a friend on facebook.


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A Highly Successful Flirter Was Once Asked: Which One is Your Best Girlfriend?
He Replied: The Next One.

Q: Whats the difference between magnets and women.
Ans: magnets have a positive side

Whats the difference between Our Government and Mafia? At least one of them is organized

Boy to Gym coach: I wanna impress this cute girl m gonna meet in 3 days which machine should I use? Coach:Use ATM machine.

There are two words in your life that will open many doors for you. PUSH and PULL.

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The Most Dangerous Position In Which To Sleep Is With Your Feet On Your Office Desk

X opened a college, what will be the name of that college? guess X Medical College of Engineering for Arts, Science & Commerce.

When a man is in trouble, family friends Stand by his side with smiling face. The Best Example is The Marriage Album

TEACHER: Which book has helped you most in your life?
STUDENT: My fathers Cheque Book

Son: Papa whats the difference between mother tears and wife tears?
Father:Mother tears hit your heart and wife tears hit your pocket.

A recently fired stock trader said This is worse than divorce . I have lost everything and I still have my wife.

What is Talent and what is Intelligence ? Walking on a tight r0pe over Niagra Falls is Talent. n0t Trying such a thing is called Intelligence.

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Do you know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
Both don't exist.

Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don't even have a bid car like rohit. But I really love you.
Girl:I love u too, but tell me more about rohit

Can we do romance in the evening today? I Am in a good mood Just a little bit of kissing n biting reply me soon
your's lovingly MOSQUITO.

Teacher: Who is your Favorite Writer? Student: Your Daughter. Every Week She Give Me a Nice Love Letter.

Question- Who is the laziest person in the world? Answer:-The one who invented the SNOOZE option in alarm.

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Engineering student to sweeper brother:I have got degree, I can sit in society. What do u have?
Sweeper: I have the job.

Every Indian women is RANI KAXMI BAI in her life.
RANI-Before marriage.
LAXMI-After marriage.
BAI- After children.

Which are the two latest versions of java. Think think think...........
Marjava and Mitjava

A funny life cycle, COCKROACH is afraid of RAT. RAT of CAT. CAT of DOG. DOG of MAN. MAN of his GIRLFRND and GIRLFRND OF COCKROACH.


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A Girl Asks Her Mom:I Want Some Fresh Air, Can I Go For a Walk? Mom: Alright, But Ask your Fresh Air to Drop you Home By 10 P.M.

Who is the Leader of Ducks?
Answer: Frog Why? Because Frog is MAINDUCK.

I will be a reason for your happiness and not be a part of it and I will be a part of your sadness and not a reason for it.

Imagine that you are in the forest where there is a tiger in front of you right about to eat you. What do you do? You can stop imagining.

Two muffins are in the oven. One says to the other God its hot in here The other one replies Oh no. Its a talking muffin.

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* Boy: Did you know that the most intelligent kid in our class is deaf? Girl: That is unfortunate.
Boy: What did you say?

* Crack: When is it unlucky to see a black cat?
Jack: When you are a mouse.

* Appu : What is the difference between a nail and a boxer?
Pappu : One gets knocked in the other gets knocked out.

* Appu: Would you like me to help you with your homework.
Pappu: No thanks, I can get it wrong by myself.

* What's d difference between people who pray in Temples and people who pray in d Exam Centres? Those in d exam centres are damn serious.

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Appu : I am the 4th husband of my Wife.
Pappu : You are not a husband but a habit.

A widow wrote on the tombstone of her husband. . . . . . . .
Rest in peace - Till We Meet Again.

Wife: I have read in newspaper that widows make d best wives.
Husband: May b! But you can't xpect me 2 kill myself that u can b good wife to sumone.

Appu: What is the best way to see flying saucers?
Pappu: Pinch the waitress.

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* As promised to Obama,India is giving jobs to Americans... Pamela Anderson is the first recruitment

* Appu: What was the real reason of your divorce?
Pappu: Our marriage.

* Journalist: Tel me Major, did u ever fall in2 hands of enemy in any of ur engagements?
Major: Oh, yes,but I escaped wen I got a divorce.

* Why do Indian women pray 2 God 4 same husband in next life? 2 ensure the efforts taken 2 train him in dis life,do not go in vain!

* He : Darling, if you marry me, I will satisfy your smallest wishes. She : And what about the big wishes.

* Wife: Dear,don't u think I have put 2 much salt in Soup? Husband: Not at all,darling.There is perhaps not quite enough soup 4 salt

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* Teacher: What is Half of 8?
Pappu: 0 if divided horizontally and 3 if done vertically.

* Appu: How much of your salary do you take home 2 your wife on pay day?
Pappu: None. Appu: Hows that? Pappu: She meets outside d office n takes!!

* One of the Best Messages that I have Received... Life is beautiful Terms n Conditions of Wife apply.

* A couple planned to commit suicide together. But once the wife killed herself,he changed his mind as things suddenly looked more positive.

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* 8 Semesters 80 GB sylabus 80 MB v study 80 KB v remember 80 Bytes v ans. BINARY Marks v get, known as BTech (Brain Technically Empty)

* A silent night, a star above, a blessed gift of hope and love. A blessed Christmas to you!

* Most people have 5 senses. Some people have 6 senses. But u r blessed with 7 senses. An extra sense is NON SENSE.

* Appu-Oye!wat R U doing? Pappu-Recording babies voice. Appu-why? Pappu- When he grows up,I shall ask him what he meant by dis?

* X: Do you think a genius ever makes a good husband? Y: You should better ask my wife.

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* Tomorrow all schools, colleges, and office will be holiday. Just inform to all.... . . .
Reason: rozy miss ka kutta mar gaya...! Aaoo

* ta ta ta ta ta ta ta TA ta ta ta ta ta ta . Wat is d moral of this Line....???? . . . . Anek "ta" me ek "TA"

* Unbeatable Truth- V realize tat value of life. Increases 1ly after its lost. Example: A live chicken 75 Rs n Tandoori Chicken 180 Rs.

* A woman kidnapped. The kidnapper sent a piece of her finger to her husband and demanded money. Husband replied : I want more proof.

* Doctor: Mrs. Nandini gud news 4 u. Nandini: wat do u mean by mrs. Nandini? I am miss Nandini. Doctor: O!! Sorry Miss Nandini, Bad News 4 u.

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* Every man should have a wife - preferably his own!

* By the time a man really does understand woman, his wife wont let him out of the house at night.

* Good resolutions are like college girls. Easy to make, but hard to break.

* Appu: I would like some crocodile shoes please.
Pappu: Certainly, Sir! What size shoe does your crocodile wear?

* He: What you prefer in a man - wealth, position, character or appearance?
She: Appearance and the sooner the better.

* Crazy fact of today's generation. Once upon a time, girls used to cook like their mothers. But now they drink like their fathers.

* Pappu: Have you noticed that most heroes are married man? Appu: Every married man is a hero.

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